Chapter 37: I Find the Phrase "Flush After Use" Rather Unpleasant
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“Master, they’ve reached the third trial.”
“I know.”
“Master, it looks like they’re about to make their move.”
“I know.”
“Master, would you like some tea?”
“I know.”
“...Master, you need to steady your Dao heart. Eight hundred is the prime age for striving!”
“I kno—Shut up, you treacherous disciple!”
The Third Elder was on the verge of breaking down. Never mind the fact that the Daqian Sect disciples he had favored had been defeated; what truly galled him was that his vaunted Heavenly Eye had actually been stumped by a few junior cultivators in the Qi Refining stage!
How was that possible?
His cultivation was among the highest in the entire Eastern Star Continent. How could he have been bested by a few youngsters who had only just begun refining qi?
“It’s all right, Master. Don’t be angry. If you die of rage, who’s going to enjoy the benefits?” Liang Xiaolong had already vented his own frustration and was now perfectly calm. “Besides, there’s still one final trial. When I designed it, I deliberately made it so difficult that no one could possibly pass! Surely they won’t make it through.”
“What? No one can pass? Then how is our Daqian Sect supposed to recruit anyone?” The Third Elder’s attention was successfully diverted.
“By making special exceptions, of course!”
“You mean that after everyone fails, we pick people and admit them by special dispensation?” The Third Elder was baffled. “Isn’t that just making things needlessly complicated? Wouldn’t it have been simpler for you to design an easier trial from the beginning?”
Liang Xiaolong explained, “If someone passes all three trials through sheer ability, they’ll inevitably become arrogant, believing that they succeeded solely because of their own strength. Such a lack of humility is detrimental to the development of one’s Dao heart.
“But if they’re unable to pass through their own strength, and in the end we’re moved by their sincerity and make an exception to let them through, their state of mind will be entirely different. Not only will they have a clear understanding of their own abilities, they’ll also be deeply grateful to us. That way, we win their loyalty, and from then on they’ll be devoted to the Daqian Sect!”
“You young people certainly have a lot of tricks these days.” The Third Elder could not help feeling that he had fallen behind the times.
...
“That’s why I said this trial is nothing but pure psychological manipulation.”
Qin Xi clicked his tongue.
“It’s designed so absurdly hard that if I weren’t taking the examination, probably everyone would fail here.”
Qin Xi was still straining, his face flushed red. “Then they’d wave their hands grandly and say something like, ‘Though your abilities are lacking, your sincerity is plain to see. We shall admit you despite the rules.’ And after that, we’d be willing to go through fire and water for them.”
As he spoke, Qin Xi seemed to release something inside himself and let out a satisfied sigh.
“Ahh...”
Standing outside the latrine, Bu Weiwei gave a strange cry. “Could you please make your bathroom noises a little less... intoxicating?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“What does psychological manipulation mean?” Jiang Baiqiu asked from beside Bu Weiwei.
“The Dao that can be spoken is not the eternal Dao. It’s rather troublesome to explain, and you wouldn’t understand anyway. Just listen as best you can.” Qin Xi’s voice echoed from inside the latrine, muffled by the door.
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“Come to think of it, this is the women’s restroom, isn’t it?” Bu Weiwei said from outside.
“Nonsense. This is Xiaohong Gate territory. How could there be a men’s restroom?” Qin Xi tossed the paper into the pit and stood up. “There aren’t even signs distinguishing men and women. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a gender-friendly restroom!”
“...”
He actually had a point.
“Speaking of which, Xiaohong Gate is truly extreme. Even their restrooms have this sort of thing?”
Bu Weiwei looked at the slogans plastered across the latrine walls:
“Kill every member of the Leshui Gang!”
“We swear to wipe out every last Leshui Gang fiend!”
And also:
“The word ‘hero’ discriminates against female cultivators. Use ‘heroine’ instead!”
“I and all male cultivators are sworn enemies forever!”
“They say cultivation is all about refining one’s Dao heart...” Bu Weiwei’s expression turned troubled. “Could this really be what their Dao hearts are like? This kind of extremism feels almost indistinguishable from that of evil cultivators.”
Jiang Baiqiu stared blankly at the slogans. She clearly did not understand them—did not understand them in the slightest. “Is this what the Age of Declining Dharma is like? The hatred between sects is actually this intense?”
“...”
A Ling wore much the same expression as Jiang Baiqiu. She had never seen anything like this before. She did not understand it, and she was utterly shaken.
“So, do you think the four of us can talk the two sides into setting aside their hatred?” Qin Xi emerged from the latrine. “When all is said and done, this is an impossible mission.”
“...Then why do you still look so confident?”
“Because I intend to turn the impossible into the possible.” Qin Xi clenched his fist. “Since we can’t resolve the hatred between the two sides, we’ll have to make use of it.”
“I’ll go to the Leshui Gang’s stronghold in Yuebei. You stay inside Xiaohong Gate’s stronghold and get whichever disciple is carrying the seal to come out to the place we agreed on.”
Qin Xi rinsed his hands with water. “Oh, and according to Xiaohong Gate’s standards, I think the slogan telling people to flush after using the toilet is discriminatory toward male cultivators. ‘After using the toilet’ obviously refers to women. I suggest changing it to ‘The Shit Emperor Commands You to Flush.’”
Bu Weiwei: “???”
Jiang Baiqiu tilted her head. “Qin Shit Emperor?”
Qin Xi thought Jiang Baiqiu was a genius, but he still said, “...Ying Zheng, I’m sorry. I should never have taken the surname Qin.”
...
A disciple of Xiaohong Gate stood at the highest point in Yuebei City—the summit of Nanqing Mountain—and gazed into the distance.
She had been recruited by the Daqian Sect to serve as an examiner, but she had already assumed that no one would be able to pass this trial.
After all, there was no way she could allow her seal to appear alongside the seal of those Leshui Gang wretches.
As for why those three young girls had asked her to come here, she had not given it much thought. She possessed absolute confidence in her own strength.
There was no way they could seize it by force.
But...
There were two people here who thought exactly as she did!
A disciple of the Leshui Gang had just reached the summit. The young Qi Refining cultivator taking the examination had asked him to come here, and he had no idea what she was planning.
But relying on his Foundation Establishment cultivation, he had not refused.
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And now, the two of them stood face-to-face.
When two kings meet, neither yields.
“Xiaohong Gate demon!”
“Leshui Gang fiend!”
When sworn enemies met, their eyes burned with hatred. At that moment, both of them were filled with the urge to kill the other!
Had they truly begun fighting, the two sides would undoubtedly have battled to the death. But out of consideration for the Daqian Sect’s reputation, they could not do so.
“You’ve been spared today. I won’t kill you.”
“I’ll return those words to you.”
Just as both sides decided to leave the sight of that detestable person, a nameless fire suddenly blazed up in their hearts!
They were losing their tempers.
Both of them were losing their tempers.
They felt a fury surging uncontrollably within them!
Then the two exchanged a glance.
Indeed. Unless one of them died, neither would be willing to let the matter rest!
“Die, you fiend!”
“I’ll butcher you, you demon!”
Boom!
In an instant, the fluctuations of spellcraft exploded across the mountaintop. The surrounding trees were torn from the earth by the shock waves!
Qin Xi and the other three clung desperately to the ground, refusing to let the aftermath of the clash blow them away.
A Ling dropped into a horse stance, her lower body rock-steady.
Jiang Baiqiu wrapped both arms around A Ling’s calf, her entire body swaying in the wind.
“They’re fighting! What do we do?” Bu Weiwei gritted her teeth, clutching A Ling’s other leg.
“Chaos! The more chaotic, the better!”
Qin Xi was not so fortunate. With both of A Ling’s legs occupied, he had prepared in advance and buried himself in the ground, leaving only his head exposed.
“Fight! Come on! Fight!”