Chapter 10: The Needle That Was Useless
“The answer lies right on the tiles,” Song Ruzhao said, cutting straight to the point.
Looking up, the tiles were laid out with meticulous order.
Only the keen-eyed could discern that they formed a subtle boundary like the Chu River and Han Border. It was as if the east side was basking in the sunrise while the west side was soaked by rain.
Ordinary people couldn’t perceive such subtle differences in shade, but for someone like Shen Lang, every nuance mattered.
The story was rather twisty. Initially, Shen Lang had hired craftsmen to repair the roof, and as usual, the workers finished quickly.
However, when it came time to pay, he accused them of negligence and demanded the tiles be taken up and relaid.
The craftsmen were baffled, insisting they had been diligent and had sealed the roof flawlessly. What trivial fault was he finding?
Shen Lang snapped, “Are your eyes covered by tiles? Can’t you see the difference in shades?”
One craftsman looked up and pointed to two pristine clouds in the sky. “Sir, do you see any difference between that dark white cloud and the pale one?”
Shen Lang hesitated, “They’re both white clouds.”
The craftsman tried to reason, “Exactly, they’re both gray tiles too.”
Unable to bear it any longer, Shen Lang climbed on the roof, shouting, “Keep shouting and I’ll poke out your eye!”
With reason failing, the craftsmen preferred to give up their meager wage and fled quickly, lamenting how their master was truly mad.
Song Ruzhao had anticipated this grand debacle when she decided not to hire craftsmen.
She was quite pleased with the outcome. “Dear husband, you’ve worked hard!”
“You saved the household money!”
“Here, have some fruit washed for you!”
Then she passed the task to someone else. “Little husband, hurry and wash the fruit for him!”
They all acquiesced silently.
While repairing the roof, Shen Lang’s index finger was cut by a tile, earning him a proud industrial injury. Such a minor wound was nothing to a battlefield-hardened emperor.
But when Song Ruzhao inspected the dead mice and criticized the work, he quickly pressed his forehead, pretending not to flaunt the injury, then broke into sobs like a tragic hero. “My lady, I have failed in my duty!”
“What happened to your finger?”
“I was bitten back while catching a mouse. Once healed, I will continue catching mice, doing my utmost for this fragile home.”
Song Ruzhao’s iron heart softened at these heartfelt words, feeling guilty. “It’s my fault for making you catch mice and repair the roof. Tomorrow, let little husband catch the mice.”
He cautiously confessed, “Actually, there’s still a small gap behind the roof that’s not fixed.”
“No problem, little husband will take care of it.”
Growing confident, she said, “Tonight I want roasted lamb.”
“Alright, little husband will make it.”
They all shuddered in silent submission.
***
Don’t you two have any conscience?
After dinner, the pale yellow candlelight flickered without warmth, and the wound on Shen Lang’s finger worsened, the flesh rotting away. Blood was the filthiest thing, and Song Ruzhao delicately bandaged it with a flick of her slender fingers.
He scowled, disdainful of her concern. “My blood isn’t poisonous. Even that dumb chicken’s butt isn’t as perky as your finger.”
“It’s not your blood I’m wary of. If I touch your wound, it will get infected. Infection means amputation. Do you know what amputation means?” Song Ruzhao spoke softly yet firmly.
Nearby, the little one puffed his cheeks and blew, “I say, I say, amputation (receiving the decree) means you have to kneel down.”
Everyone laughed, but Shen Lang stared at his hands and the ugly bandage, feeling conflicted, distressed, and painful.
Song Ruzhao instantly understood.
Soon, even the uninjured left index finger was bandaged in an ugly fashion.
He slapped his thigh in delight. Both fingers bandaged—perfect pair!
Song Ruzhao mused, “Good thing it’s not amputation, or I’d have to chop off both fingers!”
Shen Lang was horrified.
***
A peaceful night’s sleep.
At dawn, the system alarm rang like a blaring bell: [Zhao Zhao, the Emperor needs you! He’s near death!]
Song Ruzhao opened her eyes and first checked the roof.
Fortunately, it hadn’t collapsed.
Her second glance fell on the bedridden man. Shen Lang’s lips were dark blue, his body stiff, his face almost lifeless.
Poisoned.
The source was the cut from the sharp tile the day before. Now his whole hand was swollen and purple, like a mass of sliced purple Buddha’s hand yam.
The attendants went to summon a doctor, but he seemed to vanish without a trace.
Song Ruzhao herself went to the noble clinic to fetch Divine Doctor Jia, who had just returned with precious lingzhi mushrooms. After a long while, he reluctantly agreed to come, but the cold wind startled the slow doctor: “What’s the rush? It’s not like the Emperor is about to die...”
Hearing there was a life at stake, several Song sisters anxiously came to see for themselves.
Jia Fengchun took the pulse deeply, and after burning an incense stick, still spoke no word.
Song Ruzhao broke the silence: “Divine Doctor, if it’s hopeless, amputation is acceptable.”
Those words from last night echoed in Shen Lang’s ears. Even in his near-death state, he sat up startled: “Song Ruzhao, only one hand can be cut!”
“...”
Divine Doctor Jia shook his head helplessly. “Once the damaged skin is infected with poisonous wooden arrow toxin, the poison spreads through the blood. There’s no cure—only death awaits. Prepare the coffin. There’s a shop in the west market I have dealings with; I can give you a 70% discount.”
“...”
Song Ruzhao fought desperately. “No, divine doctor, look again! He still has breath...”
***
The doctor leapt seven or eight feet high, shouting, “Of course he still breathes! Otherwise, how could he wait to die!”
“...”
“Get lost, I’ll treat him myself!” Her voice was dark and terrifying.
Her words shocked everyone. After all, a life was at stake, and respect was due. The third sister quickly intervened, “Second sister, we want to save his life, not end it!”
The fourth sister, fearing a fatal mistake, warned, “Second sister, don’t think your amateur skills will earn you eternal reverence. You’d best have some self-awareness!”
Throwing caution to the wind, Song Ruzhao snapped, “If you keep talking nonsense, I’ll fill both your mouths with poison!”
Shen Lang, worried about amputation, dared not close his eyes. “Song Ruzhao... if you dare cut off both my hands... I’ll exterminate your entire clan!”
“I’ll be the first to go in that clan.”
“...”
He couldn’t catch his breath and fainted.
Song Ruzhao used the miraculous rejuvenation talisman granted by the system.
A voice, audible only to her, sounded.
[System Notice: This talisman cannot be used on the Emperor. Please use it on someone else.]
“...”
Taking the divine doctor’s medicine box, Song Ruzhao shut the door. Though she had abandoned medicine for literature in college, she had apprenticed under a divine doctor for two years at a top medical research institute, thus well-trained.
She recalled the last technique her master researched—a method to activate blood circulation and detoxify with acupuncture. She had lamented before that it was mere theory, but now a living test subject lay before her!
Ha! A chance to try! Not trying would be a waste.
Trying first and preparing the coffin later wouldn’t be too late—the discount was always available.
She took out the thickest needle, reshaped it into a triangular tip, and prepared to drain the poisoned blood. The incantation to the acupuncture points flowed clearly from her lips: “Poison enters through the fingers, ten fingers connected to the heart. Poison hides in the heart, returning to the source. Stop at the extreme spring point, needles enter the eight causes. Shenmen is the point, with seven on chest and ribs...”
After completing the procedure, Shen Lang spat a mouthful of fresh blood, feeling as if awakening from a nightmare with clarity. His gaze fell on himself—chest, organs, abdomen, arms—countless needles lined up in neat rows.
His primary concern: were his hands still intact?
Alas, he could no longer feel them.
Then he heard the merciless woman repeatedly inserting needles: “Two needles in the left index finger... three in the right middle finger...” Suddenly, her pupils dilated, “Oh no, the right hand is useless again!”
Terrified by such dreadful news, Shen Lang’s heart sank and he fainted once again.
Song Ruzhao said, “Hey, hey, don’t be like that, it’s the needles that are useless...”