Chapter One: Blow!

“Blow into this!”

Tan Ping, dressed in a traffic police uniform, stopped a sedan and addressed the driver inside.

“Blow? Why bother? Real men don’t need to blow!” The driver, his face flushed from drinking, replied impatiently.

He turned to the woman in the passenger seat, his breath heavy with alcohol. “Honey, you blow for me!”

The woman, extravagantly dressed and heavily made up, lounged lazily in her seat. Hearing him, she sat up with languid grace.

“Come on, just blow! What’s taking you so long?” The middle-aged man urged, growing impatient.

“Oh, stop it! There’s someone else here!” The glamorous woman shot him a coquettish glance, feigning annoyance.

Nevertheless, she leaned forward skillfully, reaching toward the man’s waist.

Tan Ping intervened at once, “Not her—it's you who must blow!” He extended the breathalyzer baton, blocking her.

If this scene were allowed to continue, it would veer toward something unspeakable.

After all, the entire encounter was being broadcast live.

As the woman made her move, the official Douyin livestream chat erupted in comments.

“Whoa! Are we really watching this?”

“She’s so practiced at this!”

“Damn, he must be quite the player!”

“City folk really know how to have fun!”

This was a traffic law popularization program called “Tan Ping on Traffic.”

Tan Ping was the host and lead of this educational show.

He was a transmigrant, arriving in this world to discover his roots were pure—born into a distinguished military family.

Across three generations, more than ten relatives had served in the army. In his grandfather’s generation alone, eight went to war.

Ultimately, only Tan Ping’s grandfather returned, wounded.

In his father’s generation, three joined the military.

Now, with Tan Ping, the tradition continued: his brother was in the Air Force, his sister in the Navy, and he himself served in the Army.

His handsome appearance and solid military skills even earned him a place in the ceremonial guard of all three branches.

After transferring to civilian life, he became a traffic police officer.

Due to his capabilities, Tan Ping was chosen as the local traffic department’s popularization lead.

At first, he resisted—until he activated a popularity system.

Whenever his fame grew, Tan Ping could purchase mystery boxes from the system’s store.

These mystery boxes contained generous rewards: attribute points to enhance physical fitness, various professional skills, and beneficial buffs.

“Do I really have to blow?” The chubby, broad-faced driver grumbled.

He pondered for a moment before declaring, “Whenever I eat fast food, I must add extra meat! Did I ever brag about it? I’m a successful man, after all!” He raised his wrist, showing off his luxury watch.

“Whoa, is that a Rolex?” Immediately, viewers in the livestream recognized his status symbol.

“Success Guy, I’m a student—could you give me that watch?”

“You wouldn’t even get it if you were a beast! That’s worth more than two hundred thousand!”

“Guess he’s not bluffing—he really is successful!”

The man, now in full swing, boasted, “My monthly salary exceeds two or three hundred million, right?

I’ve traveled the two Lakes, two Guangs, two Rivers and Mountains, the Three Rivers, Three Seas, Yunnan, Guizhou, Sichuan, been to Fujian, Zhejiang, Ningxia, Inner Mongolia, Xinjiang, Chongqing, Shaanxi, Beijing, Tianjin, Heilongjiang, Jilin, Liaoning, Anhui, Jiangxi, and flown to Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan. Did I ever brag about it?

I’m a person of importance—the provincial leaders have served me tea and poured my water. Did I ever mention it?

One must be humble! What’s the point of blowing? There’s nothing worth boasting about!”

He exhaled another blast of alcohol, forcing Tan Ping to step back.

Then he said, “If you don’t want me to blow, then take my blood!”

“No need, officer, I’m blood type O! It’s unnecessary!” The middle-aged man shook his head, swaying.

Suddenly, he frowned and turned, slapping the glamorous woman beside him.

The woman, dazed from drink, snapped awake, her eyes wide and wet with fear as she looked at him.

The man glared at her. “Are you cheating on me behind my back? Is my son even mine?”

“Whoa, what’s with this guy’s logic?”

The livestream viewers were stunned.

“Haha! He’s taking Tan Sir’s blood test suggestion as a paternity test!”

“I love watching Tan Sir’s DUI checks. All these drunk dudes are characters, and their speeches are hilarious!”

Seeing the situation devolve toward domestic violence, Tan Ping quickly interjected, “Sir, calm down—I’m here for a DUI check!”

“Huh? A DUI check?” The middle-aged man looked at Tan Ping.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought my son wasn’t mine!”

But the viewers kept commenting:

“Did you all notice how panicked his wife looked when he accused her?”

“I saw it too!”

“That means she’s hiding something!”

“So even successful men can’t guarantee their sons are theirs!”

“What does marriage really give men?”

At that moment, Tan Ping brought the breathalyzer up to the middle-aged man.

This time, he didn’t act up—he obediently blew into the device.

Moments later, the reading shot up.

Beep-beep!

The breathalyzer alarmed, showing the man’s blood alcohol content had surpassed eighty milligrams per milliliter.

And it kept climbing, peaking at 145 before stopping.

Viewers flooded the chat:

“Over eighty! Time to haul him off! Next dreamer, please!”

“Drunk this much and still driving—he treats lives as a joke!”

Meanwhile, in the “Tan Ping on Traffic” studio, two female officers watched the livestream.

Seeing the Success Guy boast, the two women laughed heartily.

Now, with the BAC reading displayed, a single ponytail, oval-faced, big-eyed officer with a commanding aura smiled and said, “Tan Sir’s legal education segment is coming up soon. If you don’t know him yet, pay close attention!”

“Next time, for sure!” As soon as she finished, this comment spammed the chat.

“There they go, rambling again!”

“We’re enjoying the livestream—why advertise?”

“Today it’s ads, tomorrow they’ll beat up the fans!”

Seeing the barrage, the officer was full of melancholy—was that advertising? It was traffic law education!

Beside her, a petite, adorable officer smiled. “Hua Hua, let the viewers finish the livestream first. Interrupting them now is worse than killing them!”

“Vivi, export this clip, turn it into a video.” The commanding officer, Hua Hua, replied helplessly.

She didn’t want to interrupt the viewers, but popularizing traffic law was their duty.

“Got it, Hua Hua!” The cute officer nodded.

Her name was Li Yu Wei, petite with a baby face and impressive curves—nicknamed Officer Bunny, she was a Douyin star among traffic police beauties.

Officer Bunny loved anime, excelled at video editing and voiceover, and was specially chosen to promote “Tan Ping on Traffic.”

Then, Hua Hua switched the livestream camera back, returning to Tan Ping’s DUI check.