Chapter 36: There Is No Explaining This Away!

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After observing for a while, Tan Ping immediately asked the female driver, “Miss, do you have any tools in your car?”

“Tools? Officer, yes! Yes, I do!”

At once, the woman hurried toward the trunk.

Seeing this, Lin Shigong stepped forward to help.

Just then, a black sedan came driving over.

The camera happened to capture the entire scene.

“Oh no! A car is coming! Cameraman, get out of the way!”

The viewers cried out in alarm.

“Stop! Stop the car!”

Screech!

The black sedan noticed the disturbance ahead and slammed on the brakes.

However, it slid forward for a short distance before crashing into the red traffic cone Tan Ping had placed earlier.

Boom!

The traffic cone was instantly sent flying, hurtling straight toward cameraman Lin Shigong.

“Holy crap!”

The viewers in the livestream erupted in shock.

On the screen, the tip of the red traffic cone struck Lin Shigong squarely in the backside.

“Argh!”

Lin Shigong had been lifting the female driver’s trunk with all his strength, bent over as he reached inside for the tools. The traffic cone struck him in the most unfortunate place, and he immediately leaped into the air in agony.

Bang!

As he jumped, his head slammed into the trunk lid with a loud clang.

The livestream comments flooded the screen:

“Virtue points minus one!”

“His head must be ringing!”

“I know it’s rude to laugh at a time like this, but I honestly can’t help myself!”

“Why is the cameraman having such terrible luck?”

Nearby, the pretty driver covered her mouth and burst out laughing as well.

Clearly, anyone who witnessed such a scene would laugh instinctively.

But after laughing, she felt rather guilty and hurriedly asked with concern, “Officer, are you all right?”

At that moment, tears of pain glistened in Lin Shigong’s eyes.

He cast the woman a deeply aggrieved look, then hobbled away on tiptoe, limping painfully toward the guardrail.

The viewers in the livestream began to worry:

“There’s no way he can explain this! If the cameraman goes to the hospital, how is he supposed to tell the attending physician what happened?”

“Exactly! If someone told me they had injured their backside because a traffic cone had poked them, I wouldn’t believe them either!”

“The key point is, the poor guy is in Sichuan!”

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Hearing the commotion, Tan Ping immediately ran over.

Seeing Lin Shigong struggling to move, he asked curiously, “What happened?”

“Officer Tan, don’t worry about me. Just let me recover for a moment!”

Lin Shigong leaned against the guardrail, his expression unusually sorrowful.

Tan Ping then went to inspect the car that had struck the traffic cone.

By then, its driver had already gotten out.

He apologized repeatedly. “Officer, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m a new driver, and I panicked just now!”

When he saw the traffic cone go flying into Lin Shigong, even the novice driver himself had been left completely dumbfounded.

Back in the studio, Officer Huahua and Rabbit Officer were laughing so hard they could barely sit upright.

After laughing for a while, Huahua coughed and forced her little face into a serious expression.

“Wеiwei, later, edit this segment into a video and upload it to our official Douyin account!”

“Is that really appropriate?” Li Yuwei asked, her eyes widening.

“What’s inappropriate about it? Weiwei, this is incredibly dramatic! Anyone who comes across the video will have a good laugh. At the end, we can add some traffic-safety information. The effect will be excellent!”

Huahua spoke with complete seriousness.

“But—but it’s all based on Lin Shigong’s suffering! If he sees the video later, or if someone he knows sees it, he might feel even worse!”

Li Yuwei seemed rather reluctant.

“Weiwei, think carefully. What is our duty? Isn’t it to educate the public about traffic laws? If Lin Shigong learns that his injury helped so many citizens gain some traffic knowledge, he’ll surely be comforted. It might even help him recover!”

Huahua delivered this speech with a solemn air.

“All right, then. Sister Huahua, I’ll make sure to edit it properly!”

Li Yuwei agreed reluctantly.

Tan Ping had no idea that Lin Shigong had suffered such a devastating injury to his backside. Seeing that the black sedan had sustained nothing more than a damaged headlight, he merely gave its driver a brief lecture.

“Officer, I’ll definitely be more careful!” the driver promised at once.

Tan Ping nodded, took the tools, and returned to the front of the red sedan to continue working.

By now, he possessed the experience and technical skills of an advanced automobile mechanic.

Amid a series of metallic clangs, he soon repaired the car.

His hands were covered in black motor oil, but he finally breathed a sigh of relief.

The female driver immediately approached him and asked anxiously, “Officer, can my car still be repaired?”

“No... I mean—there’s no need to repair it. It’s already fixed!”

Tan Ping smiled.

At his first words, the woman’s heart had leaped into her throat.

She had an urgent matter to deal with that day.

But when she heard him say the car was already repaired, she immediately thanked him gratefully.

“Officer, thank you so much!”

She even took out her phone and recorded a video lasting more than ten seconds.

“Miss, what are you doing?” Tan Ping asked in surprise, raising his oil-stained hands to block the camera.

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“Officer, don’t worry! I’m only posting it on Douyin!”

The female driver smiled.

Tan Ping could only shake his head.

These days, did people really have to post a video whenever their car broke down on the road?

“Officer, I have something urgent to take care of today. I’ll come back another day to thank you properly!”

With that, the woman gathered up her tools and returned to the car.

“Go on, get moving!” Tan Ping urged her.

If she stayed any longer, something else might happen.

Once the red sedan had driven away, Tan Ping immediately moved the traffic cone he had placed on the road.

Wooo-woo!

Before long, the congested road was flowing smoothly again.

The viewers in the livestream began praising him:

“I never would have guessed Officer Tan was so good at repairing cars! He fixed that pretty woman’s car in no time!”

“If Officer Tan hadn’t stepped in, who knows how long the traffic jam would have lasted?”

“Exactly! In a situation like this, even a tow truck would have had trouble getting in!”

At that moment, Tan Ping glanced at Lin Shigong nearby and discovered that he was still leaning against the railing. There was even the unmistakable smell of blood coming from him.

Tan Ping was startled and immediately asked, “Lin Shigong, are you hurt?”

“No, no!”

Lin Shigong denied it at once.

But the expression on his face could not possibly hide the truth.

Just then, Officer Huahua called.

Tan Ping answered immediately. Over the phone, Huahua vividly recounted everything that had just happened.

“What? Something that coincidental actually happened?”

After hearing the whole story, Tan Ping felt a chill run through him as well.

Fortunately, the traffic cone had struck Lin Shigong in the buttocks.

If it had hit the pretty driver instead, the consequences would have been too horrifying to imagine.

Though astonished, Tan Ping still arranged for someone to take Lin Shigong to the hospital.

Throughout the journey, Lin Shigong lay face down across the seat. Even after they arrived at the hospital, he had to be supported by a colleague. Every step made him wince and tug painfully at his injured backside, while everyone around him stared at him strangely.

Before long, Lin Shigong was taken to the proctology department.

After examining his injuries, the attending physician shook his head repeatedly.

Lin Shigong tried desperately to explain. “Doctor, I was poked by a roadside barrier!”

The doctor shook his head.

“I’ve heard every excuse there is, but that one is a first for me.”

“...”

Lin Shigong.

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