Chapter 19: The Birth Mother and the Foster Mother

The room was silent, frost clinging to the windows, the air heavy with a stifling atmosphere. Gu Tan was locked inside, and many from the Chun Ya courtyard had been dealt with. From outside, several new slaves had been brought in. Cutting off her trusted allies was Li Qian’s warning to her.

Zhu Lian knelt at Gu Tan’s feet. Gu Tan curled up on the soft couch, watching her deteriorate under torment until she hardly resembled a human. In truth, aside from being confined and unable to come and go freely, Gu Tan’s treatment remained the same as before. The real ailment was the pain in her heart, an obstacle she could not overcome.

In Zhu Lian’s memory, when had Gu Tan ever appeared so desolate?

“It’s my fault for dragging you into this,” Gu Tan said, closing her eyes.

The words choked Zhu Lian, and the two embraced, crying for a long time until their swollen eyes looked like walnuts.

Gu Tan exhaled slowly and bent down to reach for Zhu Lian on the floor but staggered, her vision darkening, nearly collapsing.

Since being locked away, Gu Tan hadn’t eaten and had no strength left.

“Mother, what’s wrong?” A tender child’s voice sounded outside. Hearing it, Gu Tan sprang up, pressing against the door. Through the narrow crack, she glimpsed her daughter’s flushed little face.

A mother’s heart is tied to her child; Gu Tan was momentarily at a loss but noticed Zhang Desheng standing nearby. Her heart tightened as if pierced by a needle.

“Good child, mother is fine. Just remember to listen well to your brother these days.”

“It’s late; the young master and young mistress should go to the inner courtyard soon.”

Meeting Gu Tan’s cold, indifferent gaze, Zhang Desheng lowered his head and waist even more. No matter the master’s status, as slaves, they must understand their place.

“Please forgive me, madam. I am only following orders.”

Zhang Desheng spoke respectfully. Gu Tan glanced at him faintly but said nothing, turning away with tears welling in her eyes.

Outside, the child’s voice called again, “Mother!”

The second young mistress cried quietly, pressing her face against the door, her small frame trembling.

A young child could hardly bear separation from her mother, especially after so long apart. Gritting her teeth, Gu Tan inhaled deeply and extended her hand through the crack, gently wiping away the child’s tears.

“Go now.”

Gu Tan lowered her brows, leaning back against the door until the footsteps outside gradually faded. Then she collapsed to the floor.

A crushing humiliation overwhelmed her, suffocating her breath. Yet, reflecting on everything, she never regretted her actions. She only thought she had been too soft. She should have been harsher—before Li Qian’s return, she should have killed Shen Quanyi with her own hands.

Meanwhile, Zhang Desheng dared not delay. Though the secondary consort was punished, the two little masters were the crown prince’s bloodline and could not be neglected.

Zhang Desheng personally delivered the two children to Zuo Li’s chambers. Zuo Li was still inside the main hall worshipping Guanyin, the incense thick and overpowering.

Yulan came out to greet them. The maidservants previously waiting inside had all been sent away, leaving only Zhang Desheng and the two children.

When Zuo Li finished worshipping Guanyin and emerged, she was surprised to see the two children and silently cursed, realizing Li Qian could indeed be ruthless.

“The Crown Princess Consort will have a harder time now. The Crown Prince has ordered that the two little masters spend the New Year here with you,” Zhang Desheng said to Zuo Li, thinking she lacked nothing except children all these years.

Now that the Crown Prince had sent the children to the inner courtyard, it was a clear elevation of the Crown Princess Consort’s status. The secondary consort must be seething with hatred.

Having served by Li Qian’s side for many years since his entrance into the Eastern Palace, Zhang Desheng had witnessed Zuo Li and the others marry in. Zuo Li was once lively and fond of dressing up, but after Li Qian stopped visiting the inner courtyard, she abandoned luxurious clothes and jewels, barely wearing makeup, spending her time in the Buddha hall. The incense for Guanyin burned brightly, but without Li Qian’s presence, what was the point of worshipping Guanyin for a lifetime?

Yulan was delighted. Zuo Li had longed for children for many years.

“Hardship? Not at all. They’re sensible children. As their mother, it’s only right I care for them.”

With that, Zuo Li looked at the two children before her. The younger daughter, Li Changping, was still young, soon to turn four after the New Year, usually shy and rarely seen.

The eldest son, Li Qianhuai, was already reading and seven years old, with his own thoughts. Now sent to Zuo Li by their father, he understood their mother had erred and displeased the father.

He was cautious around Zuo Li.

He called out properly, “Mother.”

Zuo Li’s heart stirred with joy. She lowered her gaze on the two innocent faces, growing ever more delighted. She raised her hand but hesitated, then removed her armor and gently wiped the little girl’s face.

But Li Changping was not ignorant. She slapped away Zuo Li’s hand and pouted, “I want my mother!”

Li Changping rejected Zuo Li utterly. Yulan looked at Zuo Li worriedly. Zuo Li, however, showed no displeasure but smiled faintly, her lips barely moving as if to say something. Yet, seeing the children’s deep wariness, she said nothing.

Li Qianhuai was quick-witted and knew his sister’s words were inappropriate. He grabbed her hand and knelt, greeting Zuo Li with kowtows.

“Get up quickly. It’s late. Go with the nanny to rest,” Zuo Li said, unwilling to trouble the two children.

Li Qianhuai lowered his head, then slowly helped his sister up. After a pause, they followed the nanny downstairs.

With the two little masters settled, Zhang Desheng prepared to take his leave.

Night fell swiftly; winter was always like this. The incense in the room was heavy. Yulan opened a small lattice window, letting the cold wind in, causing the candlelight on the table to flicker.

Zuo Li’s large black shadow loomed on the wall, flickering and dancing like a monster that devoured everything.

She had never anticipated Gu Tan would be punished so severely.

She somewhat failed to understand Gu Tan’s actions. She was no longer a young girl; what use was petty jealousy?

Zuo Li knew clearly that Li Qian no longer favored her, but as the legitimate wife, he still showed necessary respect.

Gu Tan, however, did not understand. She clung forever to Li Qian’s love.

With age came the reality that competing for favor was the realm of concubines. Zuo Li’s task was to solidify her position.

As his partner, she keenly felt Li Qian’s growing weight of thought, often beyond her comprehension. This made her anxious and fearful, forcing her to hold on stubbornly.

“What do you think the Crown Prince means by sending the children here to me?”

Zuo Li held a slender incense stick, gazing up at the jade Guanyin statue on the high altar. It had been three years since her marriage into the Eastern Palace when her mother, seeing her barren womb, prayed earnestly at the temple. To show sincerity, her mother even copied ten volumes of sutras in blood ink.