Chapter 39: Never the Same Again

Chunya Courtyard had been exceptionally busy these past few days. Whether it was because Gu Tan’s pregnancy had caused her to overthink or for some other reason, her appetite had plummeted, leaving her unable to stomach even the simplest meals. Within just a few days, she had visibly withered.

The floor heating was stoked high, keeping the room as warm as spring, yet Gu Tan lay half-reclined against the edge of the heated brick bed in only a thin shift. She gazed out at the grey-white sky, a trace of melancholy lingering in her brows, her hand resting unconsciously on her stomach, which had yet to show.

The door curtain was pushed aside with a soft clatter. Zhulian entered, her face unable to hide a surge of joy as she exclaimed, "My Lady, the Crown Prince is here."

Gu Tan gave a slight start. Supporting her belly, she rose slowly, hurried barefoot toward the door, and lifted her eyes to gaze at the man she had been longing for day and night.

Li Qian seemed to have arrived in a rush; strands of hair near his ears were slightly disarrayed by the wind. He wore a deep blue silk robe embroidered with the "five bats surrounding longevity" motif, the fabric snapping in the wind. A servant stepped forward to unfasten his Shu brocade cloak. His handsome face was weathered by the chill, yet the expression was so familiar, his eyes filled with a tenderness that rested solely upon her.

Tears welled in her eyes and fell silently. Seeing Gu Tan so moved, Zhulian felt a pang of heartache and waved her hand, signaling the attendants in the room to withdraw quietly.

Li Qian strode over, pulled her into his embrace, and reached up to wipe the tears from the corners of her eyes. "What is this? You are with child now; to cry like this shows no regard for your own health. Or is it that seeing me makes you unhappy?"

At these words, Gu Tan’s sobbing paused. Her beautiful fox-like eyes flickered with glistening tears, looking so bewildered and innocent that it softened his heart. As the tears tracked down her cheeks and dripped into the collar of her robe, cold and damp, Gu Tan let out a cry, wrapping her arms around Li Qian’s neck and weeping.

Li Qian led her to sit on the side of the daybed, holding her close as he pressed his warm lips against her pale forehead. "You have suffered, I know. But I have had to consider the child you carry." He held her tighter. "Be well. I will come to accompany you more often these next few days."

Gu Tan clutched Li Qian’s collar to dry her tears, and he merely indulged her, watching her with a faint smile. In a silent understanding, neither mentioned the argument from that day, yet it felt as if a crack had opened in their hearts, letting in a cold draft that left them feeling chilled to the bone.

Leaning in Li Qian’s arms, Gu Tan offered a soft smile. Her mind was preoccupied, her lips parting as if to speak, only to close again, clearly caught in hesitation.

"Come now, how did you become so timid? Is there anything you cannot say to me?" Li Qian reached out to stroke her smooth forehead, his hand sliding down her cheek to gently pinch her delicate earlobe.

Gu Tan bit her lip. Thinking she should not mention Li Qianhuai, she whispered, "It is nothing of great importance, really. I was just thinking of Ping’er. I raised that child by my side since she was small. Now that she has been moved to a new place, I fear she cannot adapt. Perhaps it would be better to bring her back."

Hearing this, the smile in Li Qian’s eyes dimmed slightly. He pressed Gu Tan’s face against his chest and said softly, "I know you are concerned, but Ping’er is not so young anymore. Besides, several wet nurses have been sent along with her; there will be no mishaps."

At these words, Gu Tan grew anxious. She sat up abruptly, her face full of concern, her hands gripping Li Qian’s sleeves so tightly that the intricate embroidery of his inner lining was pulled out, yet she did not loosen her hold.

"My Lord, you do not understand. The Crown Princess has never raised children of her own; how would she know how to care for a young one? I heard that Ping’er has cried several times already, and the two siblings are not even allowed to see each other."

Tears streamed down Gu Tan’s face again. Li Qian held her and patted her back gently. "You are talking nonsense again. The Crown Princess is their legal mother; it is only right that she provides some discipline if they are mischievous. Besides, you are pregnant—how could you possibly look after the little ones as well? Furthermore, Ping’er is unruly; what if she bumps into you? That would not be good."

Gu Tan was unwilling to yield and opened her mouth to speak again, but Li Qian cut her off quickly. "Even though they are brother and sister, they are growing older. Being raised separately does not mean they are forbidden from meeting; it is simply that seeing each other less is for their own good."

Li Qian’s dark eyes fixed on her, meeting her reddened gaze. That look made Gu Tan dare not speak further. She endured it, a faint smile appearing on her pale face, even as a thin layer of cold sweat broke out on her skin.

Gu Tan lowered her head obediently, her heart tasting bitter. She had forgotten—she had forgotten how she had been confined by Li Qian previously. She could no longer act as she once did.

Her submissive appearance stirred a spark of pity in Li Qian. He lifted her beautiful face; the fox-like eyes that usually turned upward were now slightly lowered, appearing touchingly pitiful.

Intrigued, Li Qian leaned down to kiss her soft lips and pulled her toward the daybed.

It was no surprise that Li Qian spent the night in Chunya Courtyard.

What surprised the ladies of the household was that since the highly favored Shen Quanyi had returned ten days ago, Li Qian had not summoned her to serve him even once. Instead, he spent every night in the courtyard of the pregnant Gu Tan.

Everyone knew that Gu Tan was not far along in her pregnancy and could not serve him in the nights, yet she possessed the skill to keep him there nonetheless.

With Gu Tan basking in such favor, the other courtyards were left in desolation.

In Huai’an Courtyard, Su Jin and Wang Ling were frequent visitors.

They had arrived early today. Zuo Li had just finished her morning meal, and several maidservants were standing by with copper basins and towels. Taking a towel, Zuo Li gently wiped her slender, fair hands.

Seeing Su Jin enter with Li Changjiu and Wang Ling, she waved her hand, tossed the towel into the basin, and smiled. "Have you eaten?"

Su Jin nodded with a smile and pulled Li Changjiu to sit by the heated bed.

Several young maids entered carrying red-lacquered tea trays, upon which were arranged exquisite jade plates holding small, easily digestible snacks. Su Jin washed Li Changjiu’s hands before letting her go.

"We are all idle people, but we know better than to come and disturb you, My Lady. It is just that this child was restless and insisted on coming here—she has been longing for your fruits and pastries."

Zuo Li leaned back, rolling a string of rosewood prayer beads in her hand. A smile touched her serene face as she patted Li Changjiu’s warm little cheek. "The Second Miss has been here for a few days, so I have been looking for cooks who specialize in children’s food. If A’nian likes it, I shall have someone send some to your place every day."

"You are too kind, My Lady. You truly spoil her."

Su Jin feigned a look of gentle reproach. Watching Li Changping eat, she saw crumbs at the corner of her mouth and reached for a napkin to wipe them away.

Wang Ling sat there, restless and unable to hold back, and finally spoke: "I heard that the Second Miss is making a fuss again today, insisting on returning to Chunya Courtyard."