Chapter 5: The Cucumber Spirit

Ye Xiaoxuan realized they had been discovered and, terrified, scooped up Jiaran in his arms. He scrambled to his feet, grabbed her small hand, and dashed away as if his life depended on it! After just a couple of steps, he simply wrapped one arm around her back, slipped the other behind her knees, and carried her in his arms, running all the way to the earthen cliff on the west side of the village.

Waves crashed ceaselessly on Lake Great Immortal, and distant fishing boats flickered with points of light. Ye Xiaoxuan set Jiaran down, leaned against a great willow tree, and panted heavily, unable to speak.

Jiaran’s cheeks still burned. She had meant to scold him, but seeing him exhausted and panting like the family’s old yellow dog, tongue lolling, she couldn’t bring herself to be harsh. Still, she asked angrily, “Haven’t you caused enough trouble? Why run off here instead of going home?”

Ye Xiaoxuan waved a hand and, after a moment, caught his breath enough to say, “Jiaran, you… you don’t get it. We can’t go back home right away. We have to make a circle first, so no one figures out where we live and guesses who was spying!” With the words finally flowing, Ye Xiaoxuan straightened up.

Jiaran snorted. “It was an accident! Why should we be afraid of them knowing who we are? They’re the ones who should be ashamed—imagine, a married couple, doing that sort of thing in the vegetable patch… who knows whose family they belong to!”

Ye Xiaoxuan grinned slyly and leaned closer. “Who told you they were a married couple?” Jiaran caught that intoxicating scent from him again, her head spinning, and hurried to steady herself against the willow. “Weren’t they… married?”

Ye Xiaoxuan shook his head mysteriously, pressed his lips to her ear, and whispered, “The woman is Zhang Cuizhi, the village party secretary’s wife! As for the man, can you guess who it was?”

Jiaran felt as if her ear were melting, itching so much she nearly scratched it. Surrounded by his fragrance, she was dizzy, her voice weak: “How… how would I know…”

Ye Xiaoxuan said triumphantly, “The man was Old Cucumber, who tends the vegetable garden!” Old Cucumber’s real name was Huang Guan, not yet forty years old.

Ye Xiaoxuan had always thought people called him Old Cucumber just because he grew cucumbers, but now he realized: cucumber wasn’t his trade, it was his true nature!

This fellow was a cucumber spirit through and through!

He’d actually hooked up with Chen Jiatang’s wife—what nerve! It was rumored that Zhang Cuizhi was notoriously wanton, and tonight they’d caught her in the act. Judging by her enthusiastic response to Old Cucumber, this was far from their first tryst! Chen Jiatang had beaten him up, but now he’d been thoroughly cuckolded by a mere gardener, and Ye Xiaoxuan finally felt vindicated!

“You little rascal, what wicked ideas are you brewing now?” Jiaran heard Ye Xiaoxuan’s breathing grow ragged again and, heart pounding with inexplicable anxiety, immediately stepped back, raising her voice in reproach lest he do anything improper.

Ye Xiaoxuan, like a thief caught in the act, gave a nervous laugh and turned his gaze toward the lake below the cliff. “I’m just puzzled why that big boat has been anchored here for almost three days. What are they up to?”

Jiaran pursed her lips. As if he actually cared about what others were doing—he was definitely thinking of mischief just now! But since he seemed eager to change the subject, she went along: “That’s an archaeological vessel from the city. Mysterious people, always keeping to themselves—let’s just forget about them. Come on, let’s go home. We have class tomorrow morning!”

They climbed down from the cliff and walked along the dirt path toward the village. Passing the vegetable garden, both couldn’t help glancing over.

Who knew whether that pair had finished their business. If one’s nerves weren’t strong, being interrupted like that could easily turn Old Cucumber into a wilted gourd—he’d have to use his hand just to relieve himself from now on…

Suddenly, a dark shape flashed before their eyes. Ye Xiaoxuan was instantly seized by a sense of foreboding. Almost by instinct, he tightened his arm around Jiaran, pulling her protectively into his embrace.

At that moment, there was a dull thud at the back of his head, as if something had struck him!

Ye Xiaoxuan turned and saw a shadow about his own height, holding a shovel, its eerie blue eyes fixed on him. The figure swung the shovel straight at his face!

He thought his head had been struck with the shovel, but oddly, he felt no pain or dizziness—more like being clubbed while wearing armor: he sensed the impact but suffered no physical reaction.

Facing the incoming blow, Ye Xiaoxuan knew he couldn’t dodge—not with Jiaran in his arms, and no time to push her away. He shut his eyes and braced for the strike!

Bang! The shovel landed squarely on Ye Xiaoxuan’s face, nearly flying out of the attacker’s hands from the force.

Instead of collapsing as expected, Ye Xiaoxuan shoved Jiaran aside and shouted, “Old Cucumber, you bastard! Lay a finger on Jiaran and I’ll turn you into cold sliced pig ear salad!”

The dark figure was startled by his roar but recovered at once, raising the shovel for another vicious blow aimed at Ye Xiaoxuan’s head.

Perhaps recognizing him had spurred Old Cucumber to murder—after all, if Chen Jiatang learned of this affair, losing the garden would be the least of his worries; his very life might be forfeit. Better to kill and silence the witness than risk exposure.

And so, Old Cucumber, wild-eyed and desperate, swung the shovel in a relentless flurry, as if possessed, raining down blow after blow upon Ye Xiaoxuan!

Though scrawny, Old Cucumber spent his days wielding hoes and shovels in the garden and had trained in martial arts for some years—he was nearly at the level of a martial master. His shovel swept through the air with ferocious power, treating Ye Xiaoxuan like a punching bag. Finally, with a leaping move, he brought the shovel down in a “boy pays homage to Buddha” stance, flattening Ye Xiaoxuan to the ground.

Bloodlust in his eyes, Old Cucumber turned from the fallen Ye Xiaoxuan to the terrified and frozen Jiaran, lifting his shovel and charging at her!

From the side, a woman’s figure darted in, grabbing his arm and shouting, “Are you mad? You’d kill a girl too?” Old Cucumber kicked the woman away and yelled, “If you tell your husband, I’m as good as dead!”